So after plenty of weeks of worry and stew about what I will do WHEN I get laid-off, now that it’s here, I think I can turn with the tide and embrace it.  I used to think the most important thing was, of course, finding a new job, and averting the crisis.  Then I slowly started to think that I would really like the time off.  We came to the realization that with the unemployment and the additional insurance that we purchased on some of our credit accounts, that we could probably get by.  Now I have had another realization - we could get by for a long time.  We are talking like pretty much two years long.  At full unemployment benefits.  So I thought if I can get schooling paid for then why not kick back, be unemployed and go to school.  And let my former employer PAY.  That may sound kinda terrible but let me explain further.  This is by no means a done deal just yet, there are still plenty of hoops to jump through.  By enrolling in school the unemployment will waive the two jobs a week I have to apply for, so I can get retrained.  The insurance that we have on some of our credit accounts will actually pay off some of our debt if I stay on unemployment for a while.  We also have had a problem with getting funding for our two autistic boys to go to a day camp for the summer.  Basically it is summer child care but they do more things.  So now that I am unemployed that’s not a problem either.  We will get funding for that as long as my unempoyment continues through the summer.  So at this point I’m thinking I would be better off if I just stayed unempoyeed and got all of these benefits.  I could get in a two year degree in that time.  Two of our cars will be paid off in two years time.  And I am saving tons of gas and milage on those cars by not driving much of anywhere.  I did give up my Saturday job that I had through a temp service.  It was cutting too much into the unemployment.  I guess my plan is to continue to work part time at Wal-Mart and go to school.  This is really probably my last chance to go to school at 36, so I suppose it’s now or not ever.  At this point my biggest fear would be that Electrolux may actually call me back.  That would really mess up the whole plan.  As far as I care let ‘em go on to Mexico, they can keep paying me on their way out.  I’m gonna get all I can outta this.

As I said previous I tried listening to “The Magic of Thinking Big” by David Schwartz and then “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne.  I thought “The Magic of Thinking Big ” was ok - interesting - but also kinda disappointing.  The copy I was listening to obviously was not the whole book, but rather some kind of overview on cassette.  Cheez - Zee.  But the book is probably a good read.

I was impressed with “The Secret” though.  It is all about the belief in the law of attraction, and how you would use this law to better yourself and your life.  The law of attraction is (here’s the crazy part) basically the idea that your thoughts are like magnets and attract more like thoughts, and actually things into your life.  More like we, as people, are the magnets, and we are able to shape our existance by thought.  Positive thoughts would bring good things to you and help you achieve whatever you wanted to.  Negative thought would basically bring about more negative thoughts and potentially call into being more negative experiences.  The audio book I got details how this pretains to many aspects of life in various chapters such as health, money, relationships, etc.

OK, so I would probably write this off as crap except it seems to parallel the actions of Jesus in the Bible and many other great teachers and thinkers too.  You’d probably have to hear it know what I mean.  Jesus would meditate and pray - quite his mind - and believe in the impossible.  He never hurried, and was kind even to those who rose up against him.  It seems to me this is much the same type thing here.  What if in all of life, we have all totally missed the point?  What if most people have no idea what we are, or what to believe in?  Are we really just a meat suit?  A mammal evolved from an ape?  Or are we divinely created?  If so, then is it so far fetched to believe that we are all really just energy?  A part of something greater.

All that aside I think there exists a lot of truth in “The Secret”.  Things any good councilor would tell a person.  To love yourself, dismiss negative thoughts right away, and believe in your possibility.  I guess I just find this to be quite a challange, or rather a frustration.  I can’t really say if it works or not cause I can’t seem to hold a happy mood for more than five minutes.  So the theory goes more sad and/or angery thoughts are only going to attract more of the like.  I seem to be pretty good at it after all.