“You say that love goes anywhere,
In your darkest times, it’s just enough to know it’s there”
Polaris - Jimmy Eat World
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If that were so then why are all of my dark times when everyone turns away? That’s when I become the problem not one wants around anymore.
If anyone really understood how I felt inside, they would know. I suppose that’s part of the problem then.
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I think I finally found a doctor who gets it. Most kids with ADD touch everything and are bouncing off the walls. But he said some of them internalize all of that energy. Which then becomes anxiety. If your someone like me who doesn’t sleep restfully also, he said one way to really wake up is get angry. A short fuse - I guess this too is quite common in ADD. Many people with ADD use excessive amount of either caffeine or nicotine, because they are stimulants. Stimulants are also meds used to treat ADD. Not the same ones, the caffeine and nicotine are to be avoided actually. I don’t smoke but can’t stay away from pop, and now coffee.
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I can’t explain being stuck inside any better than that. Why things get frozen in anxiety. Maybe it’s just me
They say you always hurt the ones you love the most…….. Even when you don’t mean to.